I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
