someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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