u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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