I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
