if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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