I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
