Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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