you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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