Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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