I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you win again, gameday.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
