I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i dont even know how to be here
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
as a side note pls kill me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
