Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
