I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
