were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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