you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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