I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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