this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
What a dumb baby whore.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
