So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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