So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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