Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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