I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
