You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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