Im at strip club and am horny
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
