I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You ate ashes out of my bong
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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