i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize