kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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