I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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