Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
