I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
