Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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