I feel great
I just peed on a car
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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