i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
