we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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