I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
