Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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