I look better un-naked...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
