If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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