Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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