do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize