so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
