i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm like, not good at living.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
