Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
