The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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