How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
organizing the empties. That sober.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
