It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
