OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
