I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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