Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
