I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
