I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
