C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
