just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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