your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
