Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
