it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize