A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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