and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
