We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
